back to california...

we're leaving for California on Saturday. here's a few reasons why I can't wait:

{getting to see this little guy}

{seeing them!}

{and of course this}

To whoever decided to shake up my snowglobe,

and then decided to just keep shaking because it was funny:

I know I told you that I wanted snow. A winter wonderland. Some white stuff, and less blue skies.

You took that and just ran with it, didn'tcha? A little beyond the mark? A little eager to please?

Thanks.

I'll be in California. Away from the freezing temperatures. Away from the heavy snow that made it nearly impossible to get out of apartment the other day. I'll be gone. On a ferry. And at Fisherman's Warf. Maybe even Stanyan Street.

So there.

love, me

Blissful Things pt. 3

So, I know, my last post wasn't exactly... cheery. So to make up for it, here is another list of

 Blissful Things I Can Always Count On

{see previous lists here and here}

 * a cup of hot chocolate with chopped up Queso Oaxaca in it *

{so delightful!}

* the new 30 Seconds to Mars album (esp. "alibi"... ok ok and jared leto lol) *

* old Sherlock Holmes movies *

 *  watching really bad Netflix rentals with Ty  *

 *  candy apple red nail polish  *

  * red shoes *

{found here}

* pillows. lots and lots of pillows *

{found here}

* good books *

{found here}

* listening to "Home" by Vanessa Carlton when I have a bad day, and

instantly finding myself in a better mood *

* seeing Ty at the beginning of the day, even if that day

starts at 3:30 a.m. *

* my family *

what's your list?

Lack-of a Winter Wonderland ennui

I woke up very content and happy this morning. It was lightly snowing, and I had slept quite well.

And then I got to work.

For some reason, it all went downhill from there.

I felt ornery, out of sorts, abrasive, and far from wanting to be helpful. I didn't feel good, and then the sun started shining.

This would probably make a normal person happy. It makes me even more grumpy.

I. Do. Not. Like. Sunny Days. Especially when it's cold outside.

This is what winter should look like:

This is what winter looks like here right now:

BLEH.

At lunch, Mr. Hercules served me up a salmon taco from Cafe Rio and sat down next to me while I finished my Sherlock Holmes movie. "I feel grumpy today," he told me.

"I'm really ornery today too," I told him. "You're not grumpy because of me, are you?" I asked.

"Nope. Are you grumpy because of me?"

"Nope."

"Then we're good!" he said.

I love my mister. I love that he doesn't expect to be married to a robot, that I can have bad days and bad moods and so can he. We cuddled on the couch for a bit, he made fun of Sherlock Holmes ("Weatherman Holmes" is what he's calling him now), and then we sighed and went back to work.

My body and moods are quite sensitive to changes in weather. But, like I said before, it's backwards from most people. The gloomier it is, the happier I am. (I'm still working on a theory about why that is)

This year, Mr. Hercules and I are spending Christmas in California. I am VERY excited about this, and can't wait to relax. We're planning a trip to Half Moon Bay again while we are out there, and get to see Mr. Hercules's sisters and mom. We're also picking up Logan on our way. :) I can't wait--I miss that little guy...

{However, I'm going to have to trick my body into not expecting a white Christmas, since it'll probably be in the 60's while we're out there. :)}

Am I the only one who expects snow when it's cold? Every year, my brain forgets that I live in a high deserty area, and my body waits for the snow to dump.

{I think it's going to be a long winter...}

Thank goodness for snow days.

Also, I've been listening to this all day

(Thanks Joe!)

Thanksgiving

Our Thanksgiving was laid-back and relaxing. We spent it at my parents' house with my mom and dad, my brother John, and my other brother Joe and his wife Libby.

(I was a slacker and didn't take many pictures)

Dad and the guys played around with Dad's cool steam engine

how could you not love this guy?

putting up the Christmas tree on Saturday

why yes, those are Star Wars ornaments on our tree!

i love my mister :)

Merry Christmas!

love, mr hercules & captain jules

Thankful

I have been trying to be more grateful in my life. I think I do an ok job, but I want to rock at it. Lately, I've been thinking about it in the mornings, after Mr. Hercules leaves for work and I am in bed alone, waiting for another hour before I really have to get up.

My list usually starts something like this:

• I am thankful for Mr. Hercules
• I am thankful for this amazingly comfortable bed (made comfortable by this)
• I am thankful for the harem of lovely pillows that Mr. Hercules puts up with (which leads me to be thankful for Mr. Hercules again)
• I am thankful for our safe home
• I am thankful for this amazing bed

 And then I usually fall asleep again.

My mom gave us these gratitude journals a while back, and I've tried to write things in there, but haven't been awesome at it either. So the past little bit, I've trying to do better. So, with a little more thought, here is part of my list of gratitude.

• I am thankful for my amazing husband. I couldn't have dreamed up a better man. Some days I wonder if I'm dreaming it all, or really married.
  
• I am thankful for awesome parents who have no idea how seriously cool they are.
• I am thankful for the ability to read (made possible by the awesome parents who have no idea how seriously cool they are), and the passion I have for it
  
• I am thankful for my job
• I am thankful for a reliable vehicle
• I am thankful for simple joys from etsy that make my hands less dry and my lips less chapped (and my ears more pretty, and my body smell lovely, and my fingers all ring-y, etc. etc...)
• I am thankful for the right to vote, even if it doesn't go my way
• I am grateful that I don't have to be scared when I go out shopping, or come home at night
• I am grateful that I have a kick-toshie family 

I am grateful for this guy

and this little guy

and them

and them

 and them

happy thanksgiving

Thoughts from "The Alchemist"

reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, and thought I'd quickly share some thoughts that have stuck with me:

"What is the world's greatest lie?" the boy asked, completely suprised.
"It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie." 


"People learn, early in their lives, what is their reason for being," said the old man, with a certain bitterness. "Maybe that's why they give up on it so early, too." 


"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it..." 


"...people need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want. We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."

Your Horoscope

Your horoscopes, compliments once again of The Onion:

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever you're doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it's two steps back. Yeah, that's good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you're far enough.

Taurus Apr 20 - May 20

As you'll soon learn, there are scandals and then there are Scandals—depending on whether or not the word starts at the beginning of a sentence.

Gemini May 21 - Jun 21

A tragic boating accident will soon claim the lives of the lead singer, guitarist, and drummer of your one-man band.

Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22

When played with skill and grace, the game of soccer is like poetry in motion. Which explains all the bored-stiff people just pretending to follow along.

Leo Jul 23 - Aug 22

You'll popularize a new dance craze this week, thanks in large part to the large, feral raccoon clawing at your back.

Virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22

Remember a couple of months back when the stars accurately predicted the birth of your second child? Man, that was great.

Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23

Keep in mind this week that anger is fear in disguise, although why you'd be afraid of the soda machine eating your dollar is for you alone to answer.

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21

Like a moth to a flame, you too will be strongly attracted to a giant flame today.

Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21

You've never worked a day in your life, though that's mainly because you keep getting the dang graveyard shift.

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19

Due to adverse weather conditions and severe delays, your next stop this evening will no longer be "Party Town!"

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18

You'll find yourself up the creek without a paddle this week, but take heart: Paddles are available for purchase at any decent sporting-goods store.

Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20

Everything you desire shall be yours this week, providing you do not under any circumstances read your horoscope.

scars

I do not have pretty feet. They are long rectangles that are the same size as Mr. Hercules'. (we found that out this weekend) They also have thick scars running down the sides of them where I had surgery on them when I was in eighth grade.

98% of my days, I don't think even think about those scars. They've become a part of my feet, and I love my imperfections. Sometimes my feet hurt when the weather changes, and I can't bend my big toes very far, because the bones were cut and fused back together, but even then I don't remember that it was because of the foot surgeries.

Mr. Hercules didn't even notice my ugly feet for quite a long time, which should really be quite shocking, because I am a Barefoot Earth Child as often as possible, and he tickle tortures as often as possible.

I remember how incredibly painful those surgeries were; waking up in the middle of the surgery, and not handling the pain medicine well and having to get shots instead, and recognizing for sure that I have a VERY low pain tolerance compared to most people. I remember my best friend Zach staring at me when I came to school in a wheelchair instead of the crutches I promised I would come strolling in on (apparently he had a fear of wheelchairs? Not sure, but he didn't talk to me for a week. After that, he would push my wheelchair around, carry my books, and be Zach again).

As painful as things like that are, it's amazing that we don't think about them all the time, that we let them pass and become part of us. And then, one day, we don't even think about them anymore. We even forget the scars are there.

I love that about life.

babysitting

look who came by for a visit last night!

 

mr. hercules likes being an uncle

no comment :) lol

 isn't she a cutie?

 

I can see many afternoons spent at our house playing video games with Uncle Ty in her future...

 

 

she had some mad gaming skills!

I'll add the video later :)

have a lovely weekend!

:/

Just looked at the weather forecast for the next 10 days:

drat.

A fear of rectangles

I haven't had the best day today. It's been funky, and I'm in a bit of an ennui. So to get through the afternoon, I am watching West Wing clips on my break. Thought I'd share some lovely ones with you.

This one always makes me feel good :)

This is particularly funny to me because I had a dream about it the other night... I won't give you all the details, because it's far too ridiculous (mr. hercules about drove off the road laughing so hard)

Halloween

We had a very fun party at our apartment on Saturday! Hope your weekend was a safe one!

Mr. Hercules working on his Enterprise pumpkin

 

our friend Heber helping carve my pumpkin

some very cute bugs! {mr. hercules' half-sisters}a lovely bug catcher {mr. hercules' step-mom}and a kind of creepy exterminator... lol {mr. hercules' dad}

I would have given these two a trophy if I had one!

(joe & libby)

chrissie and kathy

kathy the sweet lil' bird!

tristine watching Scooby-Doo

chelsie jamming out :)

Landyn the cute frog!

the finished product

 

do you know who my pumpkin is?

mr. hercules as Wolverine :)

(i think he's cuter than hugh jackman)

 

i am SO in love with this man

lol

he's been growing his hair and beard out for a couple of months to get it long enough to be wolverine. we cut it all off yesterday, and I have my Captain Awesome back :)

I hope you all had a safe, lovely Halloween!

validation

The most lovely thing you will see in a long time, I promise. :)

I absolutely adored TJ Thyne in Bones, and he's just as awesome here :)

Why I love being me

The other day I read an article on Yahoo's blog about a Ralph Lauren model and was absolutely disgusted at the ad (and not just because I thought the clothes were bad). Read it if you haven't already. (Uncanny Valley, anyone?)

A couple of nights ago after I finished reading in the tub, I felt weird. Not because I like to almost boil myself in the water, but because I saw myself in the mirror. Now I know you're saying to yourself, "Self, why would that make Chantile feel weird?" and most days I would agree with you. But I've gained around twenty pounds since I met Mr. Hercules last year, and lately it's like seeing myself for the first time. The weight gain isn't something I'm complaining about--it's honestly about the grandest thing that could happen to my body, if you've known me very long--in fact, it's a little exciting. Mr. Hercules described how I looked when he met me as "Zombie-scary-skinny."

(I've honestly never been called a zombie before. I may have laughed. A lot.)

And now he pokes my stomach and pinches my fluff, and smiles. "I love you with weight on you. You're curvy, and you look healthy now," he said. (Which is true--I am actually MUCH more healthy now, and I always dreamt that in an alternate universe, I am a lovely voluptuous Latin woman who doesn't fall down in high heels).

We've been looking at pictures of ourselves (remember the long babbling post about cleaning up the computer?), and it's been interesting to see the transformation of me gaining weight. (I actually took pictures of myself to help me keep track of my weight--mile-markers of sorts. I thought about posting some of them, but they're gross.) I feel so much more like me now (even though I still sort of have hips of death), and it's a great feeling! I want to go to my doctor who told me last year to quit trying so hard to gain weight, because this is who I am and how I would probably always be, and show him how happy I am now, how much better I feel, how much better I sleep, how much better I look! Take that, high school guidance counselor, and everyone in my old singles wards who thought I had an eating disorder!

I had a friend call me the other day almost in tears because of a comment someone made about her weight. She's a lot like me: tall, skinny, and eats like a linebacker. Somehow, she's managed to avoid comments about her weight from everyone but her family. Until the other day. Why, oh why, do we women feel the need to be hurtful? We are born with such a capacity to love and make things beautiful; can't we extend that to each other? The only thing I could give my friend was a quote I read a long time ago: "Where is it written that the skin on thin women is thicker?"

H's.O.D. notwithstanding, I'll take being me, thank you very much. I feel so sad and disappointed in anyone who feels the need to portray a woman's body in a disfigured way to sell something. Eat, woman! I'll buy you (and the retarded Photoshop guy) a taco cart!

It's not flattering--it's honestly disgusting. I don't know why anyone thought that it would be a good idea to change the model's body this way... I hereby declare that I will never shop Ralph Lauren ever again. Thanks, RL.

So instead of feeling the need to edit and change and falsify ourselves, I thought it would be nice to announce what we love about ourselves--our quirks, our freckles, our boney elbows, our double chins: it's all beautiful because it's us.

What I love about me:

 1  Few people can trip as gracefully in 3 inch heels as I can
 2  I am very empathic
 3  I have a freakishly accurate memory for numbers
 4  Watch out for my fast right hook! ;)
 5  Hips of death!
 6  I look great in green (no, that was not a clever way of saying that I have a low carbon footprint)
 7  I have a wide, toothy grin
 8  I can beat anyone at Oblivion!!! (yes, that was an official challenge)
 9  I have an insatiable hunger for books
10 Have you tried my brownies? C'mon.


What do you love about yourself? :)

Hollow me out

How do I live when you're not here?
Pain lives me, a wound speaks with my mouth.
And when you return? Only you know
How you hollow me out and dance in the hollow.

- Jalal-ud-Din Rumi

This week I've been cleaning up my computer and sorting through things, which honestly means I've been saying to myself, "Oh, I forgot I had that!"

Mr. Hercules and I are 2 different energy types. I am a Type 2* and he's a Type 1**, but acts like 3***a lot.  We talk about this often, and have found it useful to be able understand why we are the way we are. On Friday night Ty was asking me if I knew where my sewing tape measure was. Of course, you'd think it would be in my sewing box, so I went to look there. Nope. So, next logical place would be my dresser drawer (don't ask why, it makes sense to me). Not there either. Mr. Hercules stood there somewhat bemused, and said, "Well, where do you think you would have put it?" Next was a drawer on my computer desk (Type 2's like our piles and places. Our organization may not make sense to anyone else, but it does to us!). Not there, either. Ty finally found it (can't really remember where, now...) and asked me why I don't put things back in the same place every time. I told him because 1-it is boring that way, and 2-I like to have mini-adventures in my life, and I think that when I put something down, if I can't find again, I'll find it when I need it most, and if I don't and stumble over it again somewhere down the road, it's exciting because it's something you had forgotten you even had. (This happens to me with clothes and shoes a lot. It's like shopping for free!)



Which is probably why he keeps asking me where I put things after I fold his laundry. It's all generally in the same place... but it's not nearly as exciting his way.


But back to the original purpose of this post--it all makes sense to me, can't you keep up?--cleaning up the computer. In the midst of all of that cleaning and "finding," I've been looking at our wedding pictures a lot. This week I've also been trying to refocus my gratitude, for many things in my life, but especially for Tyson. 

We've been married for almost 6 months now (seems like SO much longer!). He mentioned the other night while I was cooking dinner, that everyone says that the first year is the hardest. I felt a little glum after he said that, until he finished with--"but this has been the easiest, best time I've ever had." :)

(I will hold him, and love him and squeeze him and call George!)

I love my Mister. :) I swear he's psychic. Whenever I need chocolate, he magically shows up at work with some, or has some waiting for me at home. He's been the only guy to let me play Halo with him without trying to kill my character and laugh about it. He puts up with my shoe addiction. He tells me he loves me about 25 times a day (literally), and wakes me up in the morning with hugs and kisses. I feel like an absolute goddess with him. 

And we've got an amazing chocolate chip cookie tag-team. I make the dough, he bakes the cookies. Can life get any better? :) 

We haven't been able to spend as many weekends together in the past month, mostly because one or the other of us has been out of town, or he's been working. It's the best thing in the world to be hugged Lennie-style and be told how much you were missed and loved.

*Water--fluid, comfort, muted--think of sitting under a weeping willow next to a flowing river

 **Air--buoyant, free, bright, upward--think of a dolphin

***Fire--textured, angular, substantial, dynamic--these are the "get it done" people