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Love and Lack of sleep

I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning.

This is nothing new to an insomniac, except that I am a recovering insomniac, and don't have nights like that much anymore.

It's interesting how disturbed sleep can throw off our days. I've been feeling really stressed the past week, feeling the crunch of time as the wedding comes closer. I don't want you to think I'm complaining about that--I'm thrilled that I only have 15 days until I'm married!--because what I'm feeling stressed about is getting all of my things moved from my apartment to Ty's apartment. I have, shall we say, and abundance of clothes. And shoes. And books.  And not much room to put it all in!

In the middle of my far-too-early-for-all-but-psychos ennui this morning, I was trying to catalogue everything in my mind and figure out where I would put it at Ty's. (No, in case you are wondering, this doesn't help you get back to sleep!)

I got up and took a shower, hoping the water would relax me as only water, crying, and Tyson can. No such luck, but I did smell like grapefruit soap (how can that not make you happy?). I went back to bed, thinking about my lovely night before. Rachael threw me an amazing bridal shower, and some of my most favorite people were there. I had such a great time!

I think what stood out to me most about the night is that people genuinly cared about me and I felt like they wanted to be there. It was an overwhelming, beautiful feeling, and I'm so grateful for all of you!  I've felt a great sadness lately. My line of work can be very rewarding, but quite depressing as well, especially right now, where 90% of my day I spend with optimism plastered over my smile, trying to tell people that it will get better soon, "maybe tomorrow" I will have a job for you. I have fifteen people fighting over the same two-day job. It can bring even this free-spirit happy hippie earth child down pretty quickly. So seeing everyone there last night, happy and laughing and sharing in friendships did this little heart of mine a world of good!

And in case Ty wasn't scared enough about my earth-childness, this is what our baby will look like (no, I'm not pregnant, unless it was another immaculate conception)--thanks Libby! :) (By the way, I SWORE I would never do this... lol Oh well!)


And here is one that is more normal-esque :)

2 Responses so far.

  1. OMG!!! Our baby looks just the same as yours!!! WOW!!!

    I hope you can get some sleep. I have been struggling with this myself.

    Love you! Call me whenever!

  2. Ann says:

    I wish I could have been at your bridal shower! boo :(

    Love you!!

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