There are several things I have been searching for over the past few years.
{ bliss }
{ calm }
{ beauty}
and, something else I haven't talked a lot about to many people except for Tyson--
{ Zen }
In Thailand, I discovered that I have a peaceful soul.
It's been hanging on to it since we got back that I've struggled with.
There's a meditation I've been doing every day--
I am a peaceful soul
I am a peaceful soul
My mind is filled with peace
I radiate peace to the world
I feel the gentle waves of peace flowing across my mind
As these peaceful thoughts emerge in my mind I feel the stillness and silence envelopes my mind
I am a peaceful soul...
Today I did not have a peaceful soul. Work was difficult; I had to deal with some very rude people, and it was beginning to wear on me.
At lunch, Ty teased me with "Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" (Oddball, from "Kelly's Heroes")
We tease each other with that quote all the time, telling each other to have more "positive waves."
When he told me to say something more "positive and hopeful," I said, "I am a peaceful soul?"
He laughed at me a little and said, "Honey, I love you, but you don't have a peaceful soul today." He made me laugh and cheered me up a little bit before we headed out the door to go back to work. He kissed me goodbye and I told him, "I'm a happy Earth Child." He looked down at me, smiled, and said "Then be one."
I thought back today about Thailand, and what made my soul peaceful over there. Tried to understand what it was so that I could bring it home and have a peaceful soul here.
There are a lot of answers to that question. But the one that came to mind most clearly was that in Thailand, I let myself BE. I just was. It was simple. It was a stream flowing in the direction it was meant to, not worrying about how it was getting there, or about the rocks underneath, or whatever was on the shore. It was happy to be the river, and reflect the sunlight off the water.
I will find that again. I will be that again.
I am a peaceful soul. I am a peaceful soul. My mind is filled with peace.
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You are a peaceful soul!
There are those vivid, bright moments of clarity where we see who we truly are. We BE who we truly are. But those are hard to hold to, and one of the great challenges of life is to strive more and more to be that person. You will find it. :) I struggle to be that person all the time, and dealing with the everyday, mundane, ridiculous people saps it out of me. I have to try to see the real "them" in order to feel more peaceful being among them. It's tough. But you're the best at that. :) You see it in me. (PS - this is Ann on Matt's computer.)