God talks to my sister through the scriptures and quiet thoughts, or her children. I've usually got my music up so loud, He has to shout through music lyrics to get much through to me. Today the medium is the All-American Rejects' "Move Along."

"Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through...
When everything is wrong, we move along..."

This is a song that is usually played at high volumes as I sail down the road, windows down, volume up, and I wave one arm as I shout along (of course, I do this to "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars, too, so don't read into it that much. It's what I do. It's my thing. My schtick.). Today, I'm sitting at my desk, going over orders and reports (327-ish to go) listening to music (through earphones, for the sake and sanity of my co-workers) and this song comes on. I've got this CD I made of songs that make me happy (think "Chicken Payback" by The Bees--and if you don't know The Bees, shame on you!), and "Move Along" is on it, and I've got it on repeat. Today is the first time the words hit me differently.

Funny how your view can shift in a second. Life has thrown me in a spot I vowed I'd adore if I ever lived this long (SWF, 20s, healthy, loving life), and I'm trying so hard to love it. It's difficult to do it alone, though. It's definitely not easy being a single mid 20s-yr-old Mormon girl, esp. when I feel that I am good enough by myself, I don't need someone else to "complete me" or whatever, but I want that dreamy life of children and being a stay-at-home mom (at least today I'll admit that). I want a companion, I want someone that I can love and be friends with, and share something with. I think I frighten guys by my independence and brilliant mind--in the words of Amy Garder of the West Wing, "I have charm, I have brains, I have legs that go all the way down to the floor, my friend." :) One of my best friends said that I am the "total package" and that scares people away. I'm sorry... if I am (and I am), I'm not going to change that to make someone else feel better. Someday my quirks and best will be alluring to a guy who's ready to climb out of the treehouse fort and play with the girls for awhile instead of running back to hang out with the guys when they start to have feelings for someone.

So, in a bittersweetheart attempt to achieve my dream hair (eg Ann's) I now have a deep brownish mahogany. I kind of dig it. :) I'll have to take a picture. So it's not exactly even that close to Ann's, but I think it looks good. :)