BEIJING—Chinese Olympic officials say they are no closer to catching the swashbuckling, green-uniformed archery competitor who has disrupted every single medal ceremony of the Games by bursting in, stealing the gold medal or medals in the name of the poor in an archery-related fashion, striking a triumphant pose, and then disappearing without a trace.


"Good people of the world, take heart!" the mysterious figure said in his most recent appearance, when he burst into the medal ceremony for the Men's 200 Meter Freestyle. "Truly, these are good men, doughty and true; and their swimming has won the day. First place in the very world may they rightly claim, but in the name of the poor, the sickly, the lonely old, and the weak without voice, I hereby claim this gold that with it I may do greater good!"


The archer then shot a goose-feathered arrow through the ribbons holding the gold medals around the necks of the U.S. team, causing their medals to fall to the ground. The archer himself proceeded to leap from the rafters, alight on the podium's top step, collect his prize, and disappear through a nearby window.


Since entering China last month by using a forged Sherwood Forest passport under the name Robert Huntingdon, the archer has appeared at more than 70 medal ceremonies, escaping with the gold every time. In almost every case, archery-related schemes were used to secure the medals, although some were more difficult for him to obtain than others.


An epic four-way fencing match broke out during the Women's Saber medal ceremony, with the archer taking on the three American women in a clash of blades that spilled out onto the balcony and across the Beijing rooftops. Germany's Ole Bischoff, winner in the Men's 81kg judo event, threw the archer through a nearby table and down a flight of stairs before his feet were nailed to the ground by arrows. And the Chinese women's gymnastics team was almost impossible for the archer to catch.

The athletes themselves are divided in their opinion of the bow-weilding outlaw. Although many regard him as annoyance at best, and still others as a dangerous menace, a considerable faction has voiced sympathy for his cause.


"Put it this way—that guy has some stuff of mine, but he's welcome to it," said U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps. "I mean, I'm not political, really, but I've had a lucky life. If my gold medals can help someone get a hot meal and a place to sleep for a few nights, that's okay. It doesn't mean I didn't win."


Phelps confessed his admiration that, although the archer had burst into the ceremony for the men's 400 Meter Relay, the team had been allowed to keep a single medal, as the archer praised the "epic performance by four doughty good men and true, who soundly defeated the Norman French, uplifted the hearts of all who saw, and enriched the very World thereby."


Chinese officials have been less charitable. "His disregard for our culture, our laws, and these Games will not go unpunished," a statement from the Chinese Olympic Committee read in part. "We demand he turn himself in, return the medals to the rightful winners, and face his punishment for these thefts, as well as for his repeated demands that we free Tibet and his continued poaching of deer in Yu Nan province."


Law enforcement officials, acting in liason with the Nottingham Sheriff's Department, have also concocted a scheme to capture the elusive archer by staging an archery contest with an especially large and valuable gold medal as the prize, an event already underway. The contest is currently in the semifinal rounds and is being led by Britain's Rob Enhood, a mysterious eyepatched figure with a penchant for archery so accurate that he routinely splits the arrows of his competitors.

My favorite horoscopes today:

Your Birthday Today
There's more to life than money and material possessions. Keep reminding yourself of this for the next 20 miserable years.

Aries March 21 - April 19
The stars predict devastating floods, crushing famines, and the rise of a blood-soaked moon in the night's sky. But enough about your mom.

Taurus April 20 - May 20
Clear and open communication is the key to a successful marriage. Signal to your wife that you love her using the semaphoric alphabet.

Gemini May 21 - June 21
Remember: While resorting to violence is never the answer, starting off with violence almost always is.

Cancer June 22 - July 22
You'll rue the day all that delicious ice cream was delivered to your home, proving once and for all that you don't know what "rue" means.

Leo July 23 - August 22
Lately it seems like you can't say anything without people getting hurt. Don't be alarmed: You're just a terrible hostage negotiator.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21
Your cold and hardened exterior will finally crack this week, but not before the jackhammers, pneumatic drills and Freudian psychoanalysts are called in to help.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You can kick and scream and flail around all you want, but it's not going to change the fact that you never learned how to dance.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Avoid any and all mirrors, reflecting pools of water, and photographic cameras this week. Trust the stars on this one.

I can't sleep.

I've had insomnia for years, but the past couple of weeks I've slept rather well. I came home from my apartment tonight (yes! news! I am moving out into an apartment. I'll accept your pride in the form of moving boxes) around 9:30, exhausted beyond belief. I was in bed and asleep by 10, which is BIG for me. Unfortunately after an hour nap, I was good, and I've been wide awake since.

It's not all bad; I'm burning a CD, catching up on some reading, and have planned how I want to lay out my new room. Unfortunately, my chest is killing me and sleep is usually what helps. I also tend to get quite prosaic in the middle of the night. If I'm working on my book, then it's fine, but when you're lying in bed reading Rod McKuen, it tends to leave you feeling a bit undone.

("I live alone.
It hasn't always been that way.
It's nice sometimes
to open up the heart a little
and let some hurt come in.
It proves you're still alive.

I'm not sure what it means.
Why we cannot shake the old loves from our minds.
It must be that we build on memory
and make them more than what they were.
And is the manufacture
just a safe device for closing up the wall?

I do remember.
The only fuzzy circumstance
is somteimes where-and-how.
Why, I know.

It happens just because we need
to want and to be wanted too,
when love is here or gone
to lie down in the darkness
and listen to the warm.")


I've had a couple of songs stuck in my head tonight; one of them is "Losing Sleep" (the acoustic version is best) by Charlotte Sometimes (you see the irony of a song by that name at 1:30 in the morning too, don't you?) but the other is "Bad News Sticks" by Halloween, Alaska.

Other songs on my playlist tonight: "Shattered" by O.A.R., "Summer Skin" by Death Cab for Cutie, "Glass Fields" by Idiot Pilot, "Why" by Secondhand Serenade, "Delicate" by Damien Rice, "Change" by the Deftones, "Je Taime" by Les Savy Fav, and "Ruthless" by Something Corporate. Actually, there's many more, but I don't feel like typing them all in.

Now the irony is that the next song is "Awake" by Secondhand Serenade.

Today I bought myself flowers, and I'm getting ready to read another chapter of The Outsiders and then I'm throwing in either "Dan In Real Life" (which I believe was inspired by my own life at the moment) or "The West Wing". And then I'll eat some ice cream. I'm lactose intolerant. Can you sense how my day has been?

Just call me Ponyboy.

Am I the only one who finds it funny/creepy that a 60-year-old Ohio Democrat congressman has a MySpace page?

Great article that I meant to post awhile ago:

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2008/07/08/how-to-stop-the-violence-feel-the-pain/

Three Things

Three things that scare me:
1: pigs
2: spiders
3: guns
Three people who make me laugh:
1: Danny
2: Dad
3: Joe
Three Things I love:
1: rainstorms
2: shoes
3: books
Three Things I hate:
1: intolerant people
2: squash
3: beets
Three things I don't understand:
1: the stock market
2: men
3: malice
Three things on my desk:
1: water bottle
2: nail polish
3: colored pencils
Three things I'm doing right now:
1: "listening" to a confrence call
2: tapping my leg impatiently
3: processing paperwork
Three things I want to do before I die:
1: skydive
2: see india
3: plant a garden of my own
Three things I can do:
1: Turn my leg around backwards
2: play "Candleburn" by Dishwalla on the piano
3: make killer chocolate chip cookies
Three ways to describe my personality:
1: smart
2: curious
3: passionate
Three things I can't do:
1: make Jell-O
2: make frozen pizza
3: yodel

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Long Random Survey(:

Are you ready for this survey?: I was born ready!
What are you currently listening to?: "Always" by Peter Bradley Adams
Do you own an ipod?: Yes
Boy or girl?: Girl
Have you ever skiied?: No
Do you want to skydive?: Yes
How do you fall asleep?: slowly
Is it raining?: No
Do you wear flipflops?: Yes
Myspace or facebook?: Both
Do you do anything illegal?: Stole a sign
Black or Brown?: Black
Do you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend?: no
What color are you walls in your room?: yellow
Are you a republican?: No
What is your favorite food?: Chinese
What are you wearing right now?: hoodie & corduroys
Have you ever died your hair?: yes
Any pericings?: yes
What does the last text message in your inbox say?: "Hey, i never got ur text about the guy..."
Fruit or Veggies?: Fruit
Happiness or Trust?: Trust
Are you a christian?: Yes
Whats your favorite season?: Fall
Do you like icecream?: Yes
What is your mood right now?: morosely optimistic
Have you ever rolled down a hill?: yes
Do you like perfume/ cologne?: Yes
couch/chair?: oversized chair
What is your favorite scent?: lavender
Do you get in trouble a lot?: No
Do you smoke?: No
Have you ever done a backbuster?: no clue what that is...
Dogs or cats?: Dogs
Are you outgoing?: Yes
Who was your 2nd grade teacher?: No clue
Do you believe in true love?: Yes
Do you have a lava lamp?: Yes
Do you keep secrets good?: Yes
Movies or television?: Toss up
Do you chew on your straws?: Yes
Is your hair curly?: naturally wavy
Who is the last person you called?: Danny
Where is your cell phone?: On my desk beside me
Are you a nice person?: Yes
Who is your bestfriend?: Rachael & Devan
Do you have a tatoo?: Nope
Whats your favorite song?: ATM, "32 Flavors" by Ani Difranco
Do you like poptarts?: Yes
What about cheetos?: Only the curly ones
Tape or glue?: depends on my mood
Do you wear jackets?: Yes
What were you thinking when you woke up this morning?: I actually slept all night!
Have you brushed you teeth today?: Twice
Have you ever broken a bone?: No
Do you like apples?: Yes
What is the first "j" under your contacts?: Jak
Do you like picture frames?: Yes
Are you tired of this survey?: No
What are you thinking about?: A CD I want to buy
Whats your favorite holiday?: I like them all
Are you a crafty person?: A bit
Do you own a kite?: No
If yes, do you fly it?: -
Baby names in mind?: Claire
How old are you?: 26
Cows or monkeys?: Monkeys
Are you wearing deoderant?: Yes
What is today?: Tuesday
Who do you like?: Men
Whats your zodiac sign?: Gemini
How old do you think I am?: 14
Do you like the name olivia?: Sort of
Do you have dirty clothes on your floor?: Yes
Do you get along with guys or girls better?: Guys
When is the last time you had sausage?: Can't remember
Do you like shopping?: Depends
Whats the first thing thats comes to mind when you think of the number 8?: Infinity
Are you shy?: No
How many states have you been to?: more than 10, less than 20
Have you cried in the past 24 hours?: Yes
If yes, about what?: fuggetaboudit
Do you have a sense of humor?: Yes
Do you like to draw?: Yes
Goldfish or cheese?: eww
Which name is better shelly or autumn?: Neither one
Do you read the bible?: Yes
Whats your dream job?: Nomadic writer/photographer
Do you lock your doors?: Yes
Two names you go by?: Chani, Lita
Whats your current problem?: Men
Is your cell phone charging?: No
Whats your favorite color?: Blue
Have you had a good day?: Mostly
How many times have you fallen down the stairs?: Too many to count
Do you believe in love at first sight?: No
Hugs or kisses?: Depends on my mood
How do you eat your eggs?: I don't like eggs
Which smiley is cooler? :]? :)?: :)
Are you married?: No
What did you do today?: Work
Rap or pop?: Depends on my mood
What color hair do you have?: Brownish red
Do you watch the stars?: Yes
Is this survey boring?: No
What is your screen name?: chantilita
Is it storming?: Soon to be
Do you like taking showers?: Yes
Do you use limewire?: Yes
Name four random words.: soap, criminal, arch, cap
Do you wish on 11:11?: Yes
Are you bashful?: No
Do you have any heroes?: A few
Do you like peace signs?: Overused
Do you light candles?: Yes
Public or Private?: Private
Do you use itunes?: Yes
Have you ever broke something valuable?: Yes
Crayons or markers?: Crayons
Do you have a mousepad?: Yes
How many pictures have you taken today?: 1
Are you a prince/princess?: Yes
Do you watch game shows?: no
Spell your name with o's instead of a's!: chontilito
Do you like the taste of pepto bismal?: no
Have you seen Hot Rod?: No
Do you like soap or hand sanitizer better?: soap
Jeans or Carpis or Shorts?: jeans
Do you like writing about me's?: no
Do you enjoy running?: yes

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