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So much for apathy

I can't sleep.

I've had insomnia for years, but the past couple of weeks I've slept rather well. I came home from my apartment tonight (yes! news! I am moving out into an apartment. I'll accept your pride in the form of moving boxes) around 9:30, exhausted beyond belief. I was in bed and asleep by 10, which is BIG for me. Unfortunately after an hour nap, I was good, and I've been wide awake since.

It's not all bad; I'm burning a CD, catching up on some reading, and have planned how I want to lay out my new room. Unfortunately, my chest is killing me and sleep is usually what helps. I also tend to get quite prosaic in the middle of the night. If I'm working on my book, then it's fine, but when you're lying in bed reading Rod McKuen, it tends to leave you feeling a bit undone.

("I live alone.

It hasn't always been that way.
It's nice sometimes
to open up the heart a little
and let some hurt come in.
It proves you're still alive.

I'm not sure what it means.
Why we cannot shake the old loves from our minds.
It must be that we build on memory
and make them more than what they were.
And is the manufacture
just a safe device for closing up the wall?

I do remember.
The only fuzzy circumstance
is somteimes where-and-how.
Why, I know.

It happens just because we need
to want and to be wanted too,
when love is here or gone
to lie down in the darkness
and listen to the warm.")

I've had a couple of songs stuck in my head tonight; one of them is "Losing Sleep" (the acoustic version is best) by Charlotte Sometimes (you see the irony of a song by that name at 1:30 in the morning too, don't you?) but the other is "Bad News Sticks" by Halloween, Alaska.

Other songs on my playlist tonight: "Shattered" by O.A.R., "Summer Skin" by Death Cab for Cutie, "Glass Fields" by Idiot Pilot, "Why" by Secondhand Serenade, "Delicate" by Damien Rice, "Change" by the Deftones, "Je Taime" by Les Savy Fav, and "Ruthless" by Something Corporate. Actually, there's many more, but I don't feel like typing them all in.

Now the irony is that the next song is "Awake" by Secondhand Serenade.

4 Responses so far.

  1. matt says:

    yoga time :) LOL :)

  2. matt says:

    (I meant that to be from me, btw, instead of Matt :D)

  3. kannie says:

    Congrats on moving out & all! That's totally exciting - and very empowering! Have a great move!!! :-) Maybe you'll be able to sleep better in your own place? *hoping*

  4. LOL that's all I could think about last night!! But unfortuantly with the moving and such, my room is scary, and I'm kinda big and clumsy and make a lot of noise in the living room late at night. But I'm hoping tonight I can do that!!


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