I need a little West Wing today...
Bartlet: We should organize a staff field trip to Shenandoah! I could even act as a guide! What do you think?
Josh: Good a place as any to dump your body.
Bartlet: What was that?
Josh: Did I say that out loud?
Leo McGarry: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. Yes, 17 across is wrong... You're spelling his name wrong... What's my name? My name doesn't matter. I am just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation. And I'm telling you that I met the man twice. And I recommended a pre-emptive missile strike against his air force, so I think I know how...
C.J. Cregg: Leo.
Leo McGarry: They hang up on me every time.
Toby Ziegler: [holding his twin babies] I didn't realize babies come with hats. You guys crack me up. You don't have jobs. You can't walk or speak the language. You don't have a dollar in your pockets but you got yourselves a hat so everything's fine. I don't want to alarm you or anything, but I'm Dad. And for you, son - for you - this will be the last time I pass the buck, but I think it should be clear from the get-go that it was Mom who named you Huckleberry.
C.J. Cregg: I want you to get with one of your friends in the press room from a conservative paper.
Ainsley Hayes: You really think we have a secret handshake, don't you?
C.J. Cregg: Do you?
Ainsley Hayes: Yes
President Josiah Bartlet: I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?
Bartlet: Charlie, I wanna hire a woman whose voice I think would fit in nicely around here. She's a conservative Republican, you think I should do it?
Charlie: Absolutely Mr. President, cause I'm told that theirs is the party of inclusion.
Sam: When I was downstairs, I made a decision. I'm gonna register with the Republican Party - and I'll tell you why, if you're curious. It's because they're a freedom-loving people.
Ainsley: We also like beef.
Bartlet: [on Babish] He looks down his nose at me 'cause I'm not a lawyer.
Leo: Yes.
Bartlet: I didn't go to law school. I got a PhD in economics instead.
Leo: Your parents were very proud.
Bartlet: Yeah, and all that happened was I won a Nobel Prize and got elected President so I guess that decision didn't really pay off.
Leo: Yeah.
Bartlet: Should I run back and get my Nobel Prize?
Leo: I think he knows you've got one.
Sam: [giving his friend a tour] Well, that's my office over there and the President works in that round room over there and nobody else really matters.
Josh: An hour with you in a rare book store. Couldn't you just drop me off the top of the Washington monument instead?
Bartlet: It's Christmas, Josh! No reason we can't do both.
Sam: We never have our chats anymore, Toby.
Toby: What chats?
Sam: Our late night chats.
Toby: Did we ever do that?
Sam: No.
Josh: (asking about the President) How's he doing?
Toby: He's got that look on his face like he's thinking of ways of killing himself.
Sam: Over three and a half centuries ago, linked by faith and bound by a common desire for liberty, a small band of pilgrims sought out a place in the New World where they could worship according to their own beliefs... and solve crimes.
Toby: Sam...
Sam: It'd be good. By day, they churn butter and worship according to their own beliefs, and by night they solve crimes.
Toby: Read the thing.
Sam: Pilgrim detectives.
Toby: Do you see me laughing?
Sam: I think you're laughing on the inside.
Toby: Okay.
Sam: With the big hats.
Toby: Give me the speech.
C.J.: Every time we come up on a holiday, you guys check out like seniors who are done with finals.
Toby: We are writing a very important Thanksgiving proclamation.
Sam: And possibly a new action-adventure series.
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