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West Wing Quotes

I need a little West Wing today...

Bartlet: We should organize a staff field trip to Shenandoah! I could even act as a guide! What do you think?
Josh: Good a place as any to dump your body.
Bartlet: What was that?
Josh: Did I say that out loud?

Leo McGarry: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. Yes, 17 across is wrong... You're spelling his name wrong... What's my name? My name doesn't matter. I am just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation. And I'm telling you that I met the man twice. And I recommended a pre-emptive missile strike against his air force, so I think I know how...
C.J. Cregg: Leo.
Leo McGarry: They hang up on me every time.

Toby Ziegler: [holding his twin babies] I didn't realize babies come with hats. You guys crack me up. You don't have jobs. You can't walk or speak the language. You don't have a dollar in your pockets but you got yourselves a hat so everything's fine. I don't want to alarm you or anything, but I'm Dad. And for you, son - for you - this will be the last time I pass the buck, but I think it should be clear from the get-go that it was Mom who named you Huckleberry.

C.J. Cregg: I want you to get with one of your friends in the press room from a conservative paper.
Ainsley Hayes: You really think we have a secret handshake, don't you?
C.J. Cregg: Do you?
Ainsley Hayes: Yes

President Josiah Bartlet: I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?

Bartlet: Charlie, I wanna hire a woman whose voice I think would fit in nicely around here. She's a conservative Republican, you think I should do it?
: Absolutely Mr. President, cause I'm told that theirs is the party of inclusion.

: When I was downstairs, I made a decision. I'm gonna register with the Republican Party - and I'll tell you why, if you're curious. It's because they're a freedom-loving people.
: We also like beef.

: [on Babish] He looks down his nose at me 'cause I'm not a lawyer.
: Yes.
: I didn't go to law school. I got a PhD in economics instead.
Leo: Your parents were very proud.
: Yeah, and all that happened was I won a Nobel Prize and got elected President so I guess that decision didn't really pay off.
: Yeah.
Bartlet: Should I run back and get my Nobel Prize?
: I think he knows you've got one.

C.J.: This is our 5th press briefing since midnight. Obviously, there's one story that going dominating news around the world for the next few days, and it would be easy to think that President Bartlet, Joshua Lyman, and Stephanie Abbott were the only victims of a gun crime last night. They weren't. Mark Davis and Sheila Evans of Philadelphia were killed by a gun last night. He was a Biology Teacher and she was a Nursing student. Tina Bishop and Linda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. They were 12. There were 36 homicides last night. 480 sexual assaults, 3,411 robberies, 3,685 aggravated assaults, all at gunpoint. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I'd only remind you that the President of the United States himself was shot last night while surrounded by the best trained armed guards in the history of the world. Back to the briefing.

: [giving his friend a tour] Well, that's my office over there and the President works in that round room over there and nobody else really matters.

: An hour with you in a rare book store. Couldn't you just drop me off the top of the Washington monument instead?
: It's Christmas, Josh! No reason we can't do both.

Sam: We never have our chats anymore, Toby.
: What chats?
: Our late night chats.
: Did we ever do that?
: No.

(asking about the President) How's he doing?
He's got that look on his face like he's thinking of ways of killing himself.

Sam: Over three and a half centuries ago, linked by faith and bound by a common desire for liberty, a small band of pilgrims sought out a place in the New World where they could worship according to their own beliefs... and solve crimes.
: Sam...
: It'd be good. By day, they churn butter and worship according to their own beliefs, and by night they solve crimes.
: Read the thing.
: Pilgrim detectives.
: Do you see me laughing?
: I think you're laughing on the inside.
: Okay.
: With the big hats.
Toby: Give me the speech.

: Every time we come up on a holiday, you guys check out like seniors who are done with finals.

: We are writing a very important Thanksgiving proclamation.

: And possibly a new action-adventure series.


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