I just finished reading a position paper for a student I'd like to throw my laptop at. I can't give any details, which irritates me, except to say that it took all my restraint as a responder not to make this little man cry. And trust me, I could. So to cool off, we're going to enter the world of TV quotes.

So I'm a big efficianado of several TV shows, including (but not limited to) M*A*S*H*, The West Wing, Lost, Gilmore Girls, Firefly, and NUMB3RS, just to name a few. Knowing this, you can now understand my sense of humor.


"Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely." -Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H*

"Nobody got hurt at the Boston Tea Party. The only people that got hurt were some fancy boys who didn't have anything to wash down their crumpets with. We jumped out from behind bushes while the British came down the road in their bright red jackets, but never has a war been so courteously declared. It was on parchment with calligraphy and, "Your Highness, we beseech you on this day in Philadelphia to bite me, if you please." -Sam Seaborn, The West Wing

Tawny: Sam, have you heard of Andrew Hawkins?
Sam: No.
Tawny: You funded his performance piece recently which involved him destroying all his belongings outside a Starbucks in Haight Ashbury.
Sam: I've done that a couple of times. I didn't know there was funding available.
-The West Wing

Girl: So girls go on adventures, too?
Lorelai: And they go in heels.
-Gilmore Girls

Luke Danes: Shouldn't we give thanks first?
Jess Mariano: Thanks for what?
Luke Danes: Well, that we're not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox infested blankets.
Lorelai: Amen.
-Gilmore Girls

Don Eppes: I guess I was inspired by Mr. Heisenberg, just like Charlie here suggested.
Alan Eppes: Heisenberg? What do you mean, the physicist?
Don Eppes: Yeah.
Alan Eppes: Oh. Your brother goes into a dangerous confrontation, with heavily armed felons, and you prepare him with a lecture on the movement of subatomic particles.
-NUMB3RS

Charlie:: Coincidences are a mathematical reality. Statistically unlikely events can and often do occur. Just look at the Genesis of our planet.
Larry:: Well now, I agree that the factors that brought about life on earth were statistically unlikely, but given the vastness of the cosmos, the limitless possibilities for matter and energy... I'm with Einstein on this. There are no accidents.
-NUMB3RS

Larry: You know that term "dark matter" has always perplexed me. It fallaciously implies that the 95% of our universe that cannot be observed is some amorphous, event less, emptiness.
Amita: I'm sorry?
Larry: I guess it's all too human. Instead of admitting to the present limits of our knowledge we just declare things to be unknowable.
-NUMB3RS

Ok, I feel better. Off to bed.