I'm not feeling well today, and feel a little ornery as well, so I am making a list of blissful things to cheer me up a little bit.

I got a great surprise from one of my dearest, closest friends last night. I was making dinner for Ty, and my phone rang. I hadn't talked to my friend Dev in awhile, since he's been out of town at school and keeping busy, and I've been busy with married life.

My co-worker called me and asked what my new address was; after I gave it to her, I asked her why she needed it, and she said it wasn't important, she just wanted to know. 10 minutes later, Devan called me and I talked to him for a minute. Then came the knock on the door--any idea who was outside? :)

I haven't seen Devan since before Ty and I went to California last fall. He couldn't make it to my wedding, and I've only talked to him once or twice since then. I blame most of that on my phone (the amazing phone of never-breaking, by the way), having to do a hard reset and losing all of my numbers, but it still made me quite cranky. Ty told Devan before he left last night that if he has to listen to me whine about not being able to talk to Devan again, then he was going to have to do something about it lol

It was so great to see him! I discovered he was out Bunburying as well, and no one really even knew he was in town. We caught up and looked at pictures, talked about movies--everything that we used to do before he moved last year. We used to have weekly lunch dates at the Chinese restaurant (the waitress wasn't very nice to Ty the first couple of times we went together because she thought that I was cheating on Devan lol), and hung out at the mortuary a lot (no, I'm not morbid, Devan worked there), but the lack of Chinese food and coffins notwithstanding, it was just like old times.

Which means he left with books and music. I think it's impossible to be a close friend or loved one of mine and leave a visit from my house without a book or music. I think I gave him about 6 CDs, and have 3 more on my desk for him if he stops by work on his way out of town. After we'd talked for awhile, he said, "I need a favor. You gave me my most favorite book in the world (The Count of Monte Cristo) and now I need another. You know what I need. Find me a book." So off we went to my bookshelves. It took me all of 6 seconds to find the 2 he needed--I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith (GREAT book, and I highly recommend it to anyone anywhere), and Dispatches From the Edge by Anderson Cooper. Devan and I are both in love with Anderson Cooper, so I knew he'd love it. (Read here and here for a recap of my Anderson Cooper love)

Before I met Ty and fell hopelessly and divinely in love, Devan and I made the "someday" plans to run away to Morocco and stay there until we were absolutely broke. I have a feeling that he's going to take that trip by himself and send me a postcard a month later telling me where he is.

Ah, the joy of Bunburying!

I have had a series of "Moby Dick Days" ("whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul..." and I start to feel like I'd only feel better if I walked through the street knocking people's hats off) the past little while. The only cure for this, as one knows, is to take to the sea--("For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea.").

So, I will be going to the sea to see my dear invalid friend, Bunbury.  I shall return when he is well.

Call your congressman, write to the President--c'mon. Be the change, people.

Mr. Hercules and I have exciting changes coming in our life together! (No, I'm not pregnant) We have been living in this little one bedroom apartment, very snug and cozy. I've been really happy there (it was Ty's apartment, and we just moved my stuff in--basically filling up every free space left!), very comfy living on top of each other.

It makes it a little harder having a 5-year-old in the house... and one bedroom... and no "alone" time. A funny thing is, I weigh about 100 pounds more than this kid, but he stomps when he walks. I think he gets excited about the noise he can make... unfortunately, we live above another apartment, and the guy below us doesn't appreciate the stomping so much. And Logan thinks it's a game when we ask him to stop stomping, so he does it even louder, like he's long-jumping or playing hopscotch or something (lol). Last night, I noticed there wasn't as much stomping (you can't avoid it completely with this kid, I suppose), and when it started up again, I heard Ty in the bedroom say, "Logan! Remember to walk like a ninja."

I tried so hard not to laugh I snorted.

So. The stomping will soon no longer be a problem. We are currently moving into a bigger, bottom-level apartment! It's SO much bigger... the master bedroom (yes!! Separate rooms!) is the size of our living room! And the closet--oh, let me sing the praises of the huge closet!!--will actually fit all of my clothes!! YAY!!

And. I will have a regular sized, working stove and everything, kitchen again!! :)

(I'm just a little excited... can you tell?)

My brother and Ty are moving things as we speak, and I am sitting here at work, kind of glad to not have to move a bunch of stuff, but also wanting to be helping so we can get it done faster. (And so Ty doesn't find out exactly how many pairs of shoes I have...) **EDIT: I just got a call--he found out. Oops lol**

Once we are moved in and the apartment is "woma-fied" (as Mr. Hercules calls my womanizing our apartment), I will post pictures.

Becoming an Insta-Mom, even as a step-mom, has certainly been an adventure. I get up about an hour earlier than I used to, so I can get ready for work, get Logan up, and then drive him out to Ty's dad's house so his step-mom can babysit him while we're both at work. From the time we leave the house in the morning to the time I squeal into work, about 50 minutes have past. It's amazing how fast I can pick out an outfit now, and how unimportant eyeliner has become (I have started just throwing some makeup on before I open the office, or right after, if no one is there).

It's also been difficult adjusting from things being about me (and Ty, of course), to things revolving around Logan. On my time off, I don't stay home and read a book, play Oblivion. I watch this child run around the laundromat with socks on his hands singing at the top of his lungs and making friends. I cry after I put him in time out and make him scrub walls after throwing a HUGE fit in the middle of the store. I wake up four times a night when he sleep-walks, talks, and sits up in bed, staring at the wall. I move over from my perfectly comfy spot next to Ty when he comes and crawls in bed between us. I come running when he whines that his feet are growing and they hurt and they need to be "squeezed," so I get out the chamomile/lavendar massage oil I made and rub his feet while he watches Disney movies (bleh). I still feel very selfish, and find myself facing some of these moments with the inside of me quipping, "Aww, honey I'd love to, but I don't want to." And then I regain my senses and remind myself that I love this little boy, and put down whatever I'm doing and go find him.

I've learned to enjoy the drive in the morning, though. Logan's still half asleep when I drop him off up the canyon. I watch him in the rear-view mirror, laying there against the seatbelt, staring out the window at the storm clouds. It's been rainy almost every day for the past two weeks, and I've adored every minute of it. I'll have to tell you about why I love this canyon so much; why it means so much to me. I was thinking about that this morning while I drove.

This is the place I would always run away to when I needed to get away. I would come up here at lunch time--it's only 15 minutes from work--and take pictures at the park. There's also good camping. But far up the canyon was my escape. I would pull over at a bridge and hike for awhile. When I went through a very difficult break-up three years ago (wow, almost to the day!), I went to this spot and prayed like I never had prayed before then. I didn't understand why. Why not him? Why not now? Why did it have to hurt so bad? Why did I have to wait? I never got the answer I was looking for that day, not the one you go searching for, other than knowing that somehow, some day, it would be ok.

I'd also go hike up nearby at the petroglyphs. I'd hike for a bit, and then sit on the side of the drop-off, dangling my feet off of the rocks and watching this beautiful secluded world below me.

Joe and Libby know this spot.

I've taken other people there, guys that wanted to go hiking. It was nice, but never fit. They never could understand how I felt about this place, the fields below the petroglyphs, the canyon and river further up the road.

What I didn't know then: At the time that I was sobbing in the woods, asking God why, why, why, Ty had separated from his wife and was getting divorced. You can't see it, but behind where Joe and Libby are sitting, you can see Ty's father's house. I would sit up there and look at that house and the ones around it, thinking that these people were so lucky to live here, and didn't even know it. Ty was even living there for a little while.

And the park where I would go eat lunch, where I loved to take pictures? Ty maintained that park, put in the new swing set, fixed the picnic tables, etc.







And that place where I ran away to pray and cry and be broken hearted?

Cross over this bridge, go up the bike trail, and hike the deer trail for a minute or two, and you've found it.



Now you can understand why my heart is in this canyon.

Besides, how can you not love it when this is your view?

This song makes me so happy! I love the video, too. I keep watching it over and over. :)

There are several things in my life that I used to love doing, and then I quit. I won't give you reasons why; some wouldn't make sense, and the other explanations are the same that everyone has: lack of time, ambition, time, energy, time, and other things getting in the way.

Ty has got me reading these books, the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. (Very good books if you like Tolkien, fantasy, etc. I prefer Tolkien, but I am really enjoying them.) Ty wanted me to draw the characters in the book, so I started the other day. Haven't drawn anything in awhile, so it felt really good to pick it up again.

So far, I've only started on one of the main characters, Rand al'Thor (my favorite).

What do you think? There's a lot more drawing to do, but I'm happy with it so far. :) It feels good to be drawing again.

My birthday was last week, and my awesome husband and step-son made my cake. The oven in our apartment doesn't work, so I bake everything in this very awesome convection/rotisserie oven. I told Ty I was going to make cupcakes for my birthday, because I didn't think I could do a cake in the little oven, but he insisted that it could be done, and was going to make the cake himself and prove it to me.

He and Logan set to work on my sweet little cake, and it was DELICIOUS! They did such a good job, and Logan was such a good helper decorating it! :) I love my men!


It was such a fun birthday; very laid back and happy. Mom, Dad, and John came over later and shared the cake with us. I got this awesome Sherlock Holmes game (Ty figured out my hidden love of Sherlock Holmes and indulged me!), some lovely chocolates, and Planet Earth on DVD (I have been not-so-silently craving that DVD set for a couple of months now!). Ty also ordered pizza so I wouldn't have to cook. :) It was a great birthday!

Last night, Ty and Logan had a Mr. Potato Head build-off.

Last fall, Ty's son Logan was up here for about six weeks. It was really good to get to know him, and for him to get used to me. Of course, I wasn't living with his dad then... Logan is back in town, living with us for two months this summer, and I think it's a big adjustment for all of us. But I sure do love this kid!