I stole this from Kannie... :)

Your Superpower Should Be Invisibility

You are stealth, complex, and creative. You never face problems head on. Instead, you rely on your craftiness to get your way. A mystery to others, you thrive on being a little misunderstood. You happily work behind the scenes... because there's nothing better than a sneak attack! Why you would be a good superhero: You're so sly, no one would notice... not even your best friends Your biggest problem as a superhero: Missing out on all of the glory that visible superheroes get

Dear iPod Shuffle,

I know I have avoided you out of love for my Zune for some time now, but I love you. I love how little you are, and that you fit in my pocket.


Sometimes I feel bad when I lose you. Or drop you. Or leave you in the bottom of my purse.

But I love you anyway. :)

Love,
Me

I have been reveling in the melancholic wonder of the grey days we've had this week. Most people would prefer to have the sun, but I'll take grey over blue any day.


Here's what I've been listening to this week.

The last week has been remarkably stressful, but thank goodness it's Thursday! Ty's been really good to me this week, and especially last night (well, he's always very good to me, but was really sweet last night). We destressed for awhile by playing a video game he bought for his son while he was out here. It's called "Sea Life Safari" and is VERY fun (not just for 4-year-olds!). You're an underwater diver and have to take pictures of the different sea creatures that you find. Points are awarded based on the "quality" of the pictures you take. We successfully made it from the Coral Reef to the Ship Graveyard, and moved on to an underwater city! Tys is MUCH better at it than I am, but it was still really fun.

Later in the evening Ty got me another game, "Interpol: The Trail of Doctor Chaos." This game is awesome! It's like an interactive "I Spy" game, which kept me occupied for a good hour and a half (ok, we both played for about an hour and a half lol) until it was time for me to go home. At any rate, if you've got an Xbox 360 and about 800 gamer points lying around, I highly recommend these games. My brain shut off for a couple of hours (until there was a soup fiasco...), and all the stress that's built up inside of me for the past few weeks is gone, and I feel 20 pounds lighter in the head.



By now you know that my favorite musician is Peter Bradley Adams. His music keeps me going through days and nights that never seem to end, when I'm so stressed that I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel to keep going. Listening to his new album, Leavetaking, calms me down the way that only yoga and Tyson can. (I even got brave and wrote a "thank you for your music" email to PBA, and was floored when I got a response back from his personal email! That made my freaking year!) I've been wanting to paint something to go along with his song "Keep Us", but so far haven't had the time. I told Tyson that I'd been dying to paint again, but didn't have any room in my apartment do set up my easel, and my sweet man cleared a spot out in a corner of his apartment for me.

My problem now is that I haven't painted or really drawn anything in so long other than doodles that I've begun to doubt my ability, and I'm afraid of what will appear on the page or the canvas. Fear is a silly thing to stop me, I know, but it has. So embracing the new year, I've decided to stop letting fear conquer me, and step "cautiously into the dark" so I can move forward. I still don't know what I want to paint or draw, and I'm lacking inspriation, but I've taken comfort in my doodles again. (This isn't even close to being finshed, but it's nice to just doodle)


When I got to work this morning, I got out of the car and looked at the sky. Instantly, the words from Jeremy Kay's song "I'm Alive" came to mind, and I knew that it was going to be a good day.

Caroline over at Burrow House (an adorable blog that I love!) has made a list of imperfections she has, and I love the idea of not taking yourself too seriously. Besides, "Your thorns are the best part of you" (Marianne Moore), and I believe it!

Here's my list; what's yours?

1. I like to think that if I worry about something, for myself or others, I have nearly God-like power to make everything ok (feel free to comment with whatever you're worrying about, and I'll just take care of that for you!)

2. I kill plants (sad to think I once studied horticulture...) and have killed every fish I've ever owned. Not on purpose. But it happens.

3. I burn frozen pizza and can't make Jell-O. At all. But, I can cook anything else in the world that your stomach desires!

4. I can't sit and read just one book at a time; I have to have about 16 at a time (and, thanks to my B&N gift certificate from Ty, I have 13 new books to enjoy!), but I can tell you exactly what I'm reading and where I'm at in the book without losing track of any characters!

5. I daydream at church.

6. I love painting my nails deep, dark colors (apparently this is a no-no at work)

7. I consider Fruit Roll-Ups to be a perfectly delicious meal some days.

8. I change hair colors/cuts with my mood

9. I overthink every possible situation, until there's days at work where I have to sit under my desk for a moment to regroup and get a new perspective. But I don't really mind, because I like dark, warm, tight spaces. I think it may be a twin thing. When I'm upset at home, I sit on the floor of my closet with the doors closed, or hide underneath my bed, until I feel better. I know I'm almost 27, but it works every time!

...you're watching TV with your boyfriend, and when he starts flipping channels and passes CNN you shout "Oo! Anderson Cooper! Go back!!!"


And he does. :)

I've noticed something interesting the last few days. I've stayed up at my parents' house for a few nights over the last couple weeks, and have been hanging out with my brother.  I spent my day off sorting through some things I had left up there, including some clothes. I tried things on, decided what to give away, and what I wanted to keep. While I tried things on, I looked in the mirror, and couldn't help but smile. I looked good! The last few months, for the first time in my life, I have been truly happy with how and who I am. It's been a great feeling!

I went back to my apartment, happy feeling in hand, and sorted through some things there. I did not feel the same "wow!" reaction from the mirror. In fact, I felt run down, a little cranky, and just plain blah. I didn't think I looked fantastic, or even that good. (One of those "Did I miss 60-B?!" moments)




Two nights ago, I was over at Tyson's watching a hockey game. I had been fighting a migraine all day, and it pretty much ate my face about 6 minutes into the first period of the Rangers vs. Penguins. Being the kind man that he is, Ty let me soak my head in his bathtub for awhile. I sat there in the dark until the water started to get not-so-boiling, and got out. While I was getting dressed, I looked over in the mirror and was once again pleasantly shocked at what I saw. I actually turned around and grinned at myself. I didn't look bad at all!

Since then, I've been thinking about why I felt so good about when I was at my parents' house and at Tyson's, but felt blah at my own apartment. Maybe the lighting, good mirrors?...  I think, honestly, that it's because in those two places, I feel completely loved, adored, and accepted.  I feel like I can be myself, and I feel happier.  My apartment is just somewhere to sleep.  Tyson makes me feel like a princess. When I'm with my family and Tys, I can be my authentic, dorky, silly self, and still feel loved and accepted.

When I'm alone, I still love myself and like who I am. I guess it just doesn't radiate the way it does when I'm around people who love me. Maybe that's the difference.

I have nothing to do today. I'm getting paid to blog, drink tea, and draw. Good times!

So I'm doing the bloggy rerun for 2008. Here's a summary of my year month by month. I didn't start blogging until April, so it'll be a little short.

April
Schadenfreude = Dentists and the House of Representatives
April was spent getting wisdom teeth pulled, attending the county convention as a delegate, and having a girls' weekend in Park City.

May
Reason #462 why I am not a normal human being
May was a good month for movies and books (Indiana Jones and Anderson Cooper's Dispatches from the Edge). Also for probably scaring my mother into thinking I was going to run away and join the Peace Corps or the circus (trust me, I would!). Instead I dyed my blonde hair red. 


June

A poor wife?
June = Anderson Cooper, dreams of Morocco, and really bad M. Knight horror movies. 


July
Mommy Oops!
In July Ann, Matt & Co. came out from Ohio for a visit, which was fantastic! I chopped off my hair, got to ride in pretty, fast cars, and you'll find Anderson Cooper again. (Can you see a pattern?)






August
Don't be fooled by how cute the bear cub is. He's still a minithreat.
August was spent being bored at work, reading political blogs, beginning to enlighten you all with your horoscopes, and beginning an amazing relationship with a wonderful man. (That would be you, Tyson)


September
All I want is Ty and a taco...
Had a good month in September with Tyson, but work was kind of dragging along. More horoscopes.


October
Fall; or, How I Spent My Conference Call Time
In October I got to be really good friends with my brother's fiance, Libby (who is the cutest person in the entire world, I'm not kidding! If the world was full of Libbys, there'd never be a sad faced person again!), reestablished a love of Chuck Norris facts, and reveled in the delights of fall.


November
First Snow
November was an amazing month, probably my best out of the year. I got to meet Tyson's son, Logan, and the three of us went on vacation in California. I got to see the ocean for the very first time, and even though I came home sicker than I'd been all year, it was all worth it (especially when Logan was taking care of me: "Eat cheese. You feel better." Then blueberries, chocolate milk, soda... on the way home from Salt Lake, I was feeling really sick, and he told me when I got home he'd get me a blanket, and I would need to close my eyes. We even practiced lol.) Also had the best Thanksgiving I've had in a long time; Ty and Logan came over, and Ann, Matt & Co. drove down to spend it with us, as well!




December
Blissful things I can always count on
December was a cold, beautiful month. I strained muscles in my back and busted up my ribs from coughing (and am still in some pain from that, sadly), but got to spend the cold evenings curled up next to the man I love, so it all turned out well anyway. I also found strength in my faith, and that has pulled me through difficult days.  And a lot of icing and a little luck can make for a great gingerbread house.And yes, now I like Star Trek. Don't be shocked. Ok, you should be shocked.



I hope you year was as wonderful as mine!


Book of the Moment: Eye of the World by Robert Jordan (first in "The Wheel of Time" series)
Song of the Moment: "Free" by Priscilla Ahn

I was finishing up this sweet older woman's new hire paperwork when she leaned over, close to the desk, and said quietly (although there was no one else in the office), "Has anyone ever told you how much you look like Karen Black?"

I smiled and said that no, actually, no one has. I've heard Franka Potente, Claire Danes, Julia Stiles, and Natasha Beddingfield, but never Karen Black, queen of horror. :) If we're talking Karen Black the Alfred Hitchcock/Nashville years, then that's ok. Any later than that... well, it was a nice thought! Maybe she hasn't seen those movies...

Next is Claire Danes. Yeah, not seeing it here.














Natasha Bedingfield... Well, we're both blonde....










And while I am flattered by the Julia Stiles references I've received, still not seeing it.










And now, Karen Black.  Um. Yeah. Tell me what you think.