It's been an eventful past week; I got my wisdom teeth out and spent time in the ER (not for the teeth). Let me tell you, that tooth-pulling was painful. Still is, matter of fact. I had 5 wisdom teeth, and one was impacted. I wonder what kind of person enjoys inflicting pain such as that throbbing in my jaw right now. But I do appreciate that I live in a country where we have skilled surgeons who have the training and ability to cause such pain, for the better good, of course.
I've slept perhaps 2 hours a night for the past week (did I mention I'm an insomniac? I actually joined an online support group, but no one was online when I was awake [you think I'm kidding, but I'm being completely serious]), and I've had a lot of time for brooding and thinking. Perhaps too much. But I think it's good to clean out the dust in your mind every now and again. It is spring cleaning time, after all.
So I'm making some big decisions, trying to aim for the things that I really truly want. It's going to take awhile to achieve some of my goals (buying a house, taking a trip to Italy, publishing my book), but there's a few simpler ones that I should be able to do as well (planting an herb garden, doing yoga everyday).
I had a guy tell me in church last week (after I made a very rude comment about him, of course. It was that or punch the jerk in the head...) that he doesn't believe that I am as prickly and mean as I come off, that deep down inside he thinks I'm a very nice person. I told him he didn't know me very well. Of course I felt bad about what I said to him, but not why I said it. I think I am a nice person--I try to be, most of the time. But when people are being hurt, made fun of, or made to feel uncomfortable, I do one thing I do very well--fight back. Most of the time I do this by making calls to my representatives, senators, president, etc... writing letters, enlisting others, writing to foreign leaders.... I feel very blessed and fortunate to have the life that I do, and it physically hurts me to see someone being defeated when I can do something to stop it. Blame it on my older sister--she always stuck up for me. Not everyone has someone who will do that for them, so I guess I've taken it on myself to be that person for others. I do get teased for it a lot, but secretly I'm smiling about it, because that's what I'm known for out here.
I've had this poem by Langston Hughes stuck in my head all day. Actually, there's a few of them floating around in there, but I'll lead with this one:
Gather up,
Gather up,
In the arms of your pity
The sick, the depraved,
The desperate, the tired
all the scum of our weary city
all the scum of our weary city
Gather up
In the arms of your pity.
Gather up in the arms of your love
Those who expect
No love from above.
Book of the moment: The Pursuit of Happyness by Chris Gardner
Music of the moment: "From Where You Are" by Lifehouse
Posts
Twitter Follow my tweets!
I'm glad you remember the few nice things I did instead of all the mean things I did. I feel like I was a terrible sister!! But thank goodness you have a lousy memory. :)
LOL Yeah, I basically have the worst memory ever. People ask me all the time, "Is the weather ALWAYS like this around here?"...and I honestly can't remember if the weather is like this all the time! LOL and I've lived here for years!!! :)
But seriously, I remember TONS of good things about you! NOTHING bad :)