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Calling a halt

I'm in a funk.

I'm getting married in 37 days and starting to feel the stress. I woke up this morning thinking that there's no way this is all going to work out, and I seriously want to just run away, have our parents there when we get married, and call it good. I want it to be beautiful, but I wasn't one of those girls who dreamed of what her wedding would be like when she grew up--I planned on being a nomadic Earth Child for most of my adult life. Wander around with my sketchbook, camera, and books, and be content.

Unfortunately, that's all I'd probably ever be--content.

With Ty in my life, I have this new feeling--it's called joy. What a new experience!

I know everything will work out, and that my ennui is stress-induced, but for today here's a few quotes that are getting me through.

"There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy." - Nietzsche

"Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness...Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: 'You are accepted.'" - Paul Johannes Tillich

"In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed--but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they have brother love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock." Graham Green, from The Third Man

"Once must accept that one has 'uncreative' moments. The more honestly one can accept that, the quicker these moments will pass. One must have the courage to call a halt, to feel empty and discouraged." -Etty Hillesum

"Discontent and disorder [are] signs of energy and hope, not of despair." Dame Cicely Veronica Wedgwood

4 Responses so far.

  1. "It is soooo worth it. All the pain and stress and worry will be gone when that day finally comes. On that day, nothing can ruin or destroy it. It will be the best day of your life! Also, I love you!" -Libby Kate Ipson

  2. Ann says:

    I understand. It is rather a surreal time and it's hard to know how to feel. Just remember there are many, many people who dearly love you, and we'll be right with you to make sure it all works out just fine. :)

  3. jerolyn says:

    That's exactly what I want to do! Seriously, I want to elope! I keep telling my parents, one day I'll come home married! They believe me to(I'm their rebel child- I think it's the generation). But I did think about if I do through the temple is just having the parents there(no siblings, or aunts and uncles) then everyone tells me that it wouldn't be fair to them, they want to be a part of my wedding, then I think, "well, I wasn't a part of your wedding!" I'm a selfish person.
    So I sorta know what your going through! Good Luck!!!

  4. kannie says:

    Oh, sis... engagement is a hectic time, and even more so when the timeline is... "compressed." {:-) (Ours was, but not quite as much as yours - and we can still relate! ;-)

    Yes, it WILL work out; everything will be okay... on your wedding day, whatever's done will be done; whatever's not done will no longer be a concern... and you'll be starting your own eternal family.

    *happy thoughts and hugs*

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