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ride this wave and then greet the sun

I've realized the past few days that I haven't been as optimistic and happy as I usually am. I tend to get this way when the weather changes from fall to freezing (and not a bit of snow to be seen!). I either a cracked or bruised rib from coughing last week, and doing almost anything hurts. Ty wrapped my ribs for me last night; I haven't been able to get the gauze to lay straight or get it tight enough. So he wrapped me up tight and I went home to bed. It hurt so bad, lying there in the dark. My roommate had woken me up at 5:30 in the morning when she came in that morning, so I was tired, cold, sore and feeling lonely.

I laid there feeling sorry for myself for a minute before I grabbed my iPod and decided I may as well listen to some music to make the night a little shorter. Few people know this, but my favorite musician is Peter Bradley Adams, and his new CD came up in the shuffle. I've listened to this CD several times since I'd bought it a few weeks ago, but the song that was playing I'd never heard. It's called "Keep Us"--it was the perfect lullaby to make me feel better, and to stop feeling sorry for myself. A quote from Letitia Elizabeth Landon's "The Troubadour" came to mind while I stared into the darkness:

'Tis strange how the heart can create
Or colour from itself its fate;
We make ourselves our own distress,
We are ourselves our happiness

I've repeated that quote to myself a million times, but for some reason last night it hit me stronger than ever before. I've been blaming everything and everyone else for my own unhappiness, when really I've just created it by my own ungratefulness and unhappiness. So before the new year even starts, I've resolved to do better, to feel better, and to be better.

I've decided to do either a drawing, painting, or a photo that matches how I feel about the Peter Bradley Adams song.

When the rain set in we had nowhere left to go
so we just stayed in bed while the thunder rolled
there's a comfort in the rain, one that lovers only know
so we lay hand in hand while the water rose ...

Every season will turn til the world is upside down
rivers overflow then go underground
but in the eye of the storm, in the safety of this house
we lay hand in hand while the world turns wrong.

So keep us and keep us, keep us from the storm.

There's a lesson in the rain that change will always come
let us ride this wave and then greet the sun
and though the ground may shake and we’ll think
we’ve had enough
we must raise our flags for the ones we love.

So keep us and keep us, keep us from the storm.
Keep us and keep us and keep us from the storm.

I was talking to a woman at work about Hillary Clinton's appointment as Secretary of State. She was upset by the choice, and was sharing her feelings with me. Then she asked me what I thought. I told her I was choosing to be optimistic. That didn't make very many people in the office happy, but I sincerely believe that my tiny optimism may do some good. I don't think we have enough of it in the world, and for my part, I'm resolving to do better. Things may not be the way we want, especially with the government right now, but I feel that pointing out all the bad and things we feel are wrong will only bring more of the same.

So I'll be trying to change the mood of my blog to one of gratitude, laughs, and things that make me happy. Feel free to abandon ship if that doesn't suit you.

3 Responses so far.

  1. Ann says:

    very nice...way to go. :) Love you!

  2. Liz says:

    Well put!!! Love ya! I hope you get feeling better soon!

  3. kannie says:

    What a good reminder! Your response to the work discussion was brilliant! I just try not to think too much about it in "real life," LOL... and avoid face-to-face discussions when I can. There are so many other things to be happy about instead, and just life keeps us quite busy! ;-)

    Mind if I join you in your resolution? :-)

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